The Grumpy List

The Grumpy List
Image: BBC Online

Everybody loves a moan at some point. Moaning is part of what being human is all about and here in Scotland, it’s what us Jocks like to do best. Moaning – as much a part of Scottish culture as whisky and haggis.

The Scots moan about a great myriad of things, from the politicians we voted in who don’t do as we wish, to the state of the roads we have to endure on our way down the road to the chemist. We moan about the weather, faulty lampposts, rude shopkeepers, disinterested car mechanics, neighbours pets, and the quality of television programming compared to the 1970s.

However, we don’t complain to the people that cause these grumps and moans, oh no that would be too much. Instead (and this is a British trait) we complain to our spouses, our children, our pets, the bloke in the pub, and on a quiet night, we might even find we have a quiet moan to ourselves over a wee dram.

But what happens when we have nothing left to moan about? What happens when we see something we want to moan about then forget what it was? We’ve made a mental note to moan about it to somebody later on but when the time comes it’s escaped us! It’s the worst thing; you come home from a tough day and see someone you remember you were going to relieve yourself of a moan onto, but can’t remember what it was. It must be a nightmare. Myself? I would tend to think it wasn’t worth moaning about in the first place, but not, it would appear, to some.

So what do these people do, those who cannot remember what they were going to moan about? Why, they keep a Grumpy List; a list of things they see on their travels that annoys them, bugs them, disgruntles them, or is just plain WRONG! They scribble it down into their Grumpy List to remind them to moan about it to some unsuspecting person at a later date.

But what kind of person would keep such a thing as a Grumpy List? I would imagine they do exist, these things of such importance, but what type of person would go to such lengths to actually take a note of what they were going to moan about?

It would have to somebody forgetful who likes moaning a lot – a hell of a lot. My immediate inkling would be of a Victor Medlrew kind of person, i.e., old, grumpy, forgetful, and perhaps just a touch caught up in the misapprehension that all these grumps actually amount to something.

Personally, there is only one person I know who keeps a Grumpy List, for I myself am too busy and carefree for such a thing.

David Currie Galbraith – my father.

Yes, old Dave keeps a Grumpy List on his Palm Top, and what’s more, he fits the Victor Medlrew stereotype beautifully. In fact, in a certain light …

I rest my case.

Elsewhere – while I await a telephone call from my dad – I worked on the marketing for Stella this evening. There’s a lot to do and I want to get most of it prepared in advance so I’m ready to go. I’m also going to do some advance pitching for reviews and interviews.


Read an E-Book Week

The Ranfurly Review – Out Now!

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About Colin Galbraith

Keen runner, thriller author, Madness fan, Mets fan, St Mirren fan/owner, rabbit tamer, outstanding fake faller. Loves cannolis & espressos. #LFGM
This entry was posted in Editorial Comment, Family, Publishing and Marketing and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to The Grumpy List

  1. Binny says:

    I personally witnessed this list entitled ‘Grumps’ on my dad’s palm top…. and yes dad before you ask I immediately set the Galbraith family jungle drums into motion – well I couldn’t not could I!!!! LOL!!!

  2. LOL!

    I’m back! Sorry I took so long to reply. Guess I could moan about that. 😉

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